


tell me how you feel

by kenmaswifey



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, Light Angst, Love, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:01:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 5,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28936671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kenmaswifey/pseuds/kenmaswifey
Summary: This is a lovestory about Tsukishima and Yamaguchi.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 1
Kudos: 27





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 - Every day walks

I was walking the normal way to school thinking about all the stuff in my head. '

I can't tell him now. Should I tell him?

No, I can't, I could nev- '

"Yamaguchi."

I flinched at the deep bored voice of my best friend.

"Ts-Tsukki!" I stuttered a bit, still feeling anxious.

"Why are you so in thoughts. What are you thinking about."

It didn't even sound like a question but just like a normal sentence.

He didn't really put much effort in raising his voice or so.

"I ehm I was just th-thinking about..."

I tried searching for an answer he won't question, while he was staring holes in me with tired eyes.

"about...OUR MATH TEST! Yeah, that's it!"

He looked like he didn't believe me but just ignored it.

"Hm okay whatever. How are you doing today, did you take everything you have to?"

I have to take medicals against my anxiety every day, even though it's not as bad as it used to be, Tsukki still asks every day.

"Yeah, I did. Did you eat enough?"

"Yeah of course, when Akiteru is home he forces me to eat."

"That's good Tsukki. You should take more care of yourself though, also when Aki-san is not home."

"Shut up Yamaguchi."

"Sorry Tsukki!"

I giggled at the routine while Tsukki looked forward, walking along the streets with me.

Our bond was strong.

We trusted each other more than anyone else, but we were still just **friends**.

I've loved him for so long, but I will probably never be able to tell the boy the truth.

I was about to ask him something but then I realized Tsukki couldn't hear me anymore, it was always like this.

I would lie if I'd say it didn't bother me that he'd rather hear his music than talk to me, but it's always been like this.

I continued to just walk along him, trying to think of different things.

After 10 minutes of more walking, we arrived at school, going to our morning training session like evryday.

Daichi-san and Suga-san were already there, greeting us with a warm smile.

They were always so content...I don't know how, but I envy them.

Noya-san was clinging to Asashi telling him how cool his hair style looked.

Tanaka-san was loughing loudly about Hinata and Kageyama bickering about who is the coolest player from our rivals team, even though Hinata had 10000 of them.

He was blabbering about Nekoma's brain than switched to Aone-san and than to the great King and so on.

It was exhausting listenning to them while I changed clothes, Tsukki who was next to me tried ignoring them I guess.

I watched him pulling his training shirt over his head and down his body.

He was starting to get brighter shoulders, I noticed. It fit him well, he look-

"Right Yamaguchi! Don't you agree!?"

I flinched when Hinata yelled my name.

"What?"

"Don't you also think Aone-san is the best middleblocker?"

I was wondering why he asked me but I put that thought aside and started thinking.

"Ehm well, I think Tsukki is better! And you aren't bad yourself Hinata."

I gave him a smile and he just giggled and rubbed my words in Kageyama's face, who was yelling at him for being so loud.

Kageyama himself wasn't better though.

I looked at Tsukki again who just sighed and mumbled something under his breath like 'I can't even reach..." I didn't understand the rest but I didn't dare to ask so I just waited for him to start heading to the gym.


	2. annoyed at lunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima's Pov this time!  
> A bit of jealousy? Or is he just annoyed at Hinata?  
> Or maybe both?  
> We will see.

I hate it.

I hate the way Hinata always clings to Yamaguchi. Can't this stupid Tangerine go to the King.

Why is he even here?

He didn't even stop blabbering while eating what an annoying kid.

Suddenly he started looking at me.

"Hey stingyshima why aren't you eating! You need muscles to not hurt yourself!"

Anooyed at his words I answered

"Shut up you idiot. I am not hungry and I know my health the best."

Yamaguchi looked at me, probably disappointed for not being nicer to the shrimp but I acted like I didn't see.

"Whatever, where is your King?"

"M-My King? H-he isn't mine! I mean h-he is m-my eh I mean ou-our setter but nothing else!"

"Calm down Hinata he was just teasing you." Yamaguchi said with a calm and _beautiful_ voice. 

"Seems like you have a crush on the king, you're totally blushing you idiot." I commented Hinata's face.

He almost screamed, embarrassed at the situation, I started laughing a bit. 

"Why the hell are you screaming so much Hinata Boke."

Suddenly Kageyama stood behing him and I would die to take a picuture of Hinata's face right now and there but phones aren't allowed in breaks in this shit school.

The shrimp turned around desperately and started stuttering some confusing things.

The King just gave him a hit on his head and sat down on our table with his stupid ass mil in his hand.

"Hey King you look like a toddler with your milk."

"Shut up you tall ass idiot!"

"Tall isn't even an insult stupid." I insulted back.

"Guys please stop bickering. Let's just talk nicely to each other or something"

"How am I supposed to talk nicely to them when the king and his queen are so fucking stupid Yamaguchi?"

Yamaguchi just sighed.

Milkaddict got red from my comment, while tangerine boy started arguing with me again. 

"I'm not a queen you beanpole!"

Wow both of them are so fucking obvlious it hurts.

Suddenly Yamaguchi stood up saying he needs to go to the toilet.

Was I too mean? Was he uncomfortable with the situation? Were we too loud? He wouldn't excuse himslef like that.

He looked sad...

My thoughts wouldn't stop worrying me so I stood up without saying anything, making my way to the men's toilet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry! short chapter. I will try making the next one longer!


	3. bathroom talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukki walked behind Yamaguchi to see what exactly is going on.

I collapsed next to the toilet, in a stall, sinking onto the bathroomfloor.

I didn't knew why I was reacting this way.

It was probably an anxiety attack.

My last one was some time ago, I was probably just triggered from the bickering which always brought back some memories.

God why am I such a weakling.

I tried getting my breathing under control.

Suddenly he heard footsteps.

I clutched my hands over my mouth and tried to stay silent, not wanting to be heard by some random boy.

Or even worse, by someone I know. 

"Yamaguchi. A-are you there?"

Did Tsukki just stutter? Is it really Tsukki?

"Ts-Tsukki? Is it you?"

I sniffled a bit, wiping my eyes and nose.

"Yeah. It's me, where are you."

"I'm in the second."

Tsukki tried getting in.

"It's looked Yams."

I blushed at the nickname, he rarely called me it and only when I felt like shit.

"I don't want you to see me like this, I look like a crybaby."

"Okay." 

Tsukki started walking again. I heard the door stall next to me close.

After some minutes of just being quiet and some sniffles and small cries from my side, I felt a cold hand under the stall touching mine.

I grabbed it a bit tighter to warm him up.

It made me happy that Tsukki was always there and I will always be thankful for him being here.

"Do you want to talk about it Yams?"

"No...Can you just talk?"

"What about?"

"Something you like."

"Ok."

Tsukki started talking about his favourite TV show, Grey's Anatomy.

I watched the first 2 seasons but I stopped when my favourite character died, I couldn't bear the pain.

He was very passionate about things he actually liked and was also very good at distracting me from my attacks.

To others he was just an asshole who was unable to talk to people.

To me he was my hero, the one who always helped me and was always there for me, in whatever situation.

"Oh and for some reason the writers thought they are able to continue wihtout Christina!"

I giggled.

"Are you feeling better Yams?"

"Yeah, thank you Tsukki. You are the best."

"I'm just doing what's my duty."

"Thanks still. Not everyone does that."

"No problem. Eh Yamaguchi I think we missed our physics lesson. Let's just stay here for the rest of the lesson."

"Sorry Tsukki, I know you like history."

"Eh I don't like the topic right now anyway."

"Okay!"

We started talking about some different topics and other stuff which isn't versy important, it was fun talking to him like that.

I always loved our talks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I liked this chapter even though it took a long time writing it lol.  
> Also I recommend EVERYONE to watch greys! DO it for your favourite nerd Tsukki!


	4. not platonic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yams feeling some stuff

After volleyball we walked home and I could still feel Tsukki's hand on mine. 

Even though it was so cold it somehow gave me the warmest feeling ever.

I liked when he touched me or gave me nicknames like I do.

It's how I realized I was also into boys  ** and ** liked Tsukki. 

When we had our first  sleepover, we were closer than in school or just at friendly meetings.

He surprisingly let me cuddle with him.

I mean it was normal for best friends to be touching each other, platonically.

But when the time  passed, I wanted more than just shoulders or hands brushing each other.

I wanted to hold him or to kiss me, stuff romantically partners do.

It felt weird at first and it still gives me a bubbly feeling but it also feels good.

I want him to love me too, but I don't even know if he likes guys.

"Yamaguchi. You need to turn here."

"O-oh yeah, I was in thoughts."

"You're thinking a lot today."

"Heh yeah I do. Bye Tsukki."

"Bye. Oh and Yams..."

"Yeah?"

"If you feel down, call me, or text me or whatever, just know I am here."

He avoided eye  contact , probably  embarrassed about the things he just said. 

But I was just happy, I almost started to cry at his words. 

He could be such a good person, that's why I am always upset when he is just mean to Hinata and Kags.

"Thank you Tsukki, you're the best."

He just continued walking his way home and waving me slightly.

After some minutes of more  walking, I was home.

My parents were normally not home.

Especially my father, it feels like he hasn't been home for a year.

"I'm home." I called out not really expecting an answer.

And I was right, no one was home.

I took of my clothes in my room and set my school bag down.

I stepped into the bathroom and looked into the mirror.

My eyes were a little swollen. I noticed my freckles fading a bit, like every winter.

After some years I started accepting them, even though I still didn't like them. 

Hinata always says they make me look pretty.

Tsukki used to say it means I probably am a summer boy because I always have wam hands too.

I just think it's a disease, that can't be cured.

But maybe it can be a good one.

I noticed my hair getting longer and took a mental note that I should cut my hair.

After that I started taking of my last piece of  clothing and took a quick shower. 

Later I heated up some food and went upstairs to eat it while doing homework.

Luckily, we didn't get any homework in chemics,  Tsukki is the only one who gets it anyways.

I looked over the math homework, it was easy and I had it done quickly.

I finished my food and decided to just head to bed. 

It was only 9pm but with morning training we always had to wake  up earlier anyways.

I fell asleep feeling warm.


	5. pancakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukkis Pov again.  
> Food and a lot of thoughts.

I woke up, with my brotther staring directly in ,my face.

I backed away fast from his scary ass face, getting annoyed already.

"Hey Kei Kei you have to get up!"

"Why should I get up at..." 

I looked at my phone real quick which said only 5:54 am.

"At fucking 5:54 in the damn morning?"

"Because I made pancakes for my favourite baby brother."

"Gross."

I paused for a moment, then my stomache started to ache from hunger.

"...did you really make pancakes?"

"Hell yeah!"

I stood up, of course just for the sake of my stomach.

"If they taste like shit I'll kill you."

Akiteru just laughed and I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and get my hair to look acceptable.

I already showered yestreday after training, so I don't have to now.

I quickly changed into the school uniform, which I hated because it's 0 percent my own style but who cares.

I know Yamaguchi hated it too, because he said it's too formal for him and unfair for the different genders.

I still know his exact words.

_"Why do the girls have to wear skirts, like Kiyoko-san maybe they don't want to show their legs._

_But maybe some boys want..."_

Now that I think about it, Yamaguchi would look cute in a skirt...

I blushed a bit at the thought but quickly shook my head to concentrate on my morning routine again.

After being done I went downstairs and sat down at the table scrolling a bit through my phone just so see a message from Yamaguchi.

I asked him to message me so I know he is fine, because he is home alone and doesn't have anybody.

That's why he sends a picture of his breakfast everyday.

Good, he is fine, I thought.

I quickly sent back a message from Akiteru's pancakes.

"Who you texting?" Akiteru asked with an annoying tone in his voice.

"None of your buisness."

"Your girlfriend?" He smirked.

I glared at him and he let the topic drop.

As if I had a girlfirend. I don't even like them but they like me for some reason.

They don't even know me, they just look at me and think I am hot.

At least I am not the only one who has this kind of problem, the King has some fangirls too.

Even though this idiot has only eyes for his hyperactive orange queen.

I forgot about all that and started eating the pancakes.

Akiteru waited for a compliment but I just smiled sarcastically at him.

"You're so cruel brother, why can't you just give me a compliment."

"It doesn't taste like shit, happy now?"

He groaned dramatically and I rolled my eyes.

I finished fast to not let Yamaguchi wait too long for me at the crossroad.


	6. sugawara senpai

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yams talks to our fav senpai

"Yamaguchi, are you coming? Volleyball starts in 5 minutes and I don't want to run laps."

Tsukki said, already leaving the classroom without me.

"Yeah wait Tsukki, don't go without me!"

I hurriedly ran out the door, packing all my stuff messily into the bags and running after Tsukki.

"Then hurry up Yamaguchi."

I reached Tsukki's side, always walking a tiny bit behind him, like every time.

It would feel....weird to walk next to him or beside him.

It has been like this forever so I don't mind staying like this.

When we reached the club room we were changing our clothes as fast as possible.

But I couldn't help but stare at Tsukki's body.

Realizing my doings, I blushed and put on my sports uniform quickly.

I ran into the gym, leaving Tsukki, saying I have to talk with Suga before training starts.

He just nodded and I ran to our vice captain, who was talking to Daichi-san at the moment.

They were mostly together, sometimes Asahi with them, but most of the time the two were alone.

I stood before them, fumbling with my hands and hanging my head low.

Suga-san noticed my prensence. 

'He is really pretty'

I thought, while he turned his head to face me.

"Yamaguchi? Is everything okay? You look nervous."

Daichi-san looked up to me now too.

"Eh d-don't I mostly look nervous?"

Suga giggled at the comment I made about myself.

"Mh yeah but it's what makes you your own person."

He gave me a heartwarming smile. 

Suga and Ennoshita were the only two other boys, I trusted to 99%, besides Tsukki of course.

"So what's going on?"

He laid one hand on my shoulder and walked a bit out of sight from out other teammates, knowing I would only tell him while being completely alone with him.

"Eh well, you know I don't have someone else to talk about this..."

"You can always come to me, I will listen. Of course only if you want to tell."

"O-okay, yes I want to."

I took a deep breath and got ready to tell him about my main problem aka Tsukki.

"Uhm...I have a kind of problem."

"What kind?"

I blushed and spoke in a quiet tone.

"A l-love problem."

Suga chuckled.

"Do you have a crush on our favourite salty man?"

My eyes shot open.

"H-how...?"

"I just know that kind of stuff."

He winked.

"Wa-was I that obvious?"

"Ah no, don't worry. I don't think anyone else figured it out."

"Eh....don't you think it's weird?"

"Why should I? I mean yes you do have some questionable taste, espacially when I exist, but I think you just fall for who you fall."

A heavy weight got lifted off my shoulders at that moment.

"Really? But he is a guy?"

"And? I mean I like guys myself, I don't care about the gender. And I know someone else on the team doesn't as well."

He glanced at Daichi for a quick second.

"A-are you and...?"

He just smiled, not really answering the question, but telling me with his eyes to keep it between us.

He winked again, hitting my arm playfully.

I blushed.

"Back to your boy. To be honest I don't think he would have a problem with you liking him more than friends, if you know what I mean."

What did he mean by that?

Before being able to ask, coach blew the whistle and Suga-san ran to Daichi-san again, while I trotted to Tsukki.

My cheeks still being slightly red out of embarassement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love DaiSuga.


	7. too mean?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukki (POV) thinking and worrying on your timeline

Why would he run away that quickly, maybe he just doesn't want to be with me for too long.

Maybe he was still mad at me for not being nicer to Mr. Jumpy and Milk King.

Stupid idiots, because of them I am overthinking shit and Yams doesn't talk to me anymore.

I walked out of the clubroom, putting on my glasses perfectly and searching for Yamaguchi.

Like he said, he was with Sugwara-san, they were talking about stuff I couldn't hear while being so far away.

While walking a bit nearer to our team, to not be too obvious watching them.

I noticed Yamaguchi blushing from time to time and looking embarassed. 

He looked cute, but what the hell are thy talking about. 

I wanna know.

Why doesn't he talk to me about his problems?

I told him I would listen.

Maybe he has a problem with me...

The whistle blew and I turned my head up to look up at our coach.

Yamaguchi trotted to my side, standing slightly behind me.

Why doesn't he ever stand next to me?

Does he even like me anymore?

Ugh that sucks. 

I will ask him later what he talked about with Sugawara-san and why he doesn't talk to me.

After training being done, which took a hell of a time like every friday, we went both ahead to go home as fast as possible.

Yamaguchi looked more exhausted than he would normally.

Did he eat and drink enough? 

Before asking him he groaned frustrated at himself.

I looked at him worried.

"What's wrong Yamaguchi."

"Oh eh I ju-just forgot my second water bottle at home, but training is over anyway."

I handed him my, still being half full, waterbottle.

"Heh? NO you should drink your own stuff, I will just drinḱ something at-"

"I insist. I won't drink it anyway."

"Ah o-okay."

He smiled happily at me, his cheeks going slightly up. 

How was he so pretty?

He drank some of my bottle and handed it back to me.

"Thank you Tsukki!"

"No problem..."

Embarassed I pushed my glasses up and hid my face behing the locker.

I changed into some warmer after-training-clothes and waited for Yamaguchi to be done as well.

We walked out together and talked about problems we both had during training.

"I think I will also start learning the jump serve or else I will be stuck forever with just doing one particular skill."

"Yeah sure, I think you can do it."

"Thank you!"

We walked a bit more, until I decided to break the silence.

"Yamaguchi, I have something to ask you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah misunderstandings gives everyone a headache  
> also tsukki stalking is bad  
> dont do that kids!


	8. realtalk...well not really

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> many gay panics lol

My heart nearly stopped.

What could Tsukki ask me?

He never asked anything, espacially not while sounding so serious.

Did I do something wrong?

Maybe I was too obvious.

Maybe he figured it out already and he just wanted to mess around with me.

No. Tsukki wouldn't do this.

Oh my god maybe he is sick or maybe he just doesn't feel good and I am only thinking abou-

"Yamaguchi!"

I shot my head up, stopping my steps and hearing my best friends voice.

I didn't even notice I was spacing out.

"Ah e-I...s-sorry."

"Hey are you okay? Do you need something? What's wrong?"

"I was just...thinking a bit too much, my head just was filled with worries from one second to another. Sorry."

"You sure? We can stop by somewhere if you're not feel,ing well."

"Yeah I am sure. It was nothing. Really."

"Promise me if you get overwhelmed tell me."

"Yeah...now what did you want to ask me?"

"Ah it's fine it wasn't important anyways."

"Naawww come on, I wanna knowwww."

"No. Now stop being annyoying."

"You're mean Tsukki."

Now he was the one to stop walking, looking to the ground.

"Tsukki?"

He suddenly bowed a bit infront of me.

"EHHHH what are you doing?"

Ignoring my question he just started talking.

"I'm sorry if I was too mean and I am sorry if I was the one at fault for your...attack a few days ago."

What? Was **that** on his mind?

Did Tsukki really think ybout me that much?

Astonished by his words, the words I wanted to say wouldn't leave my mouth.

I pulled myself together and started forming a sentence.

"It's eh n-not your fault! It was just a bit too overwhelming for me."

He stood up straight again, looking me directly into my eyes.

"Really?"

"Yeah really."

"Okay...but tell me if I am too mean to you okay?"

Wow he was almost as bad as I was when it came to overthinking.

It was really sweet of him though.

"Yeah I will tell you."

He smiled a little tiny bit.

We started walking again.

"Uh but Tsukki if you have a question to ask me, you can also just say it."

He sighed.

"I was just wondering over what you were talking with Sugawara-san."

Oh shit...why was he thinking about that one.

Ahh but if I don't anser him now he won't trust me anymore and I don't want that.

"W-we were just talking about....love."

I whispered the last part, feeling awkward.

"About what?"

Oh maaaan he didn't understand it, wow I've made everything even weirder as it had to be.

"A-about love."

He looked at me confused, I felt wobbly.

"Ah I see."

Perfect now it's awkward.

We walked for another few minutes, getting to the point where we had to seperate.

I hated the weekends, they were mostly just lonely and boring for me.

"Yamaguchi."

My best friend suddenly spoke up **again**.

"Huh? Yeah?"

"Do you want to hang out this weekend?"

My eyes started to shine brightly and a smile grew on my face after hearing his question.

"I me-mean we don't hav-"

"NO! I, I want to. I am lonely anyways and was just surprised and happy for the moment."

"Sleepover?"

He blushed, probably embarassed at the unknown situation for him.

Normally I was the one who anticipated our hangouts.

I nodded and added:

"At mine?"

"Sure, I will bring food."

"Okay bye Tsukki, see you tomorrow then!"

"Bye Yams, be careful."

I smiled at him, almost jumping out of excitement on the rest of my way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next one will be the sleepover and I am EXCITEDDDD!!!!!


	9. on my way to gayy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> again. tSuKkI gAy and CHAOS.  
> i will probably post at least 2 sleepover posts.

I was on my way to Yamaguchi, carrying a bag filled with snacks and some money with me, while listenning to Tina Turner's _We don't need another Hero._

A true masterpiece I swear.

I didn't bring a volleyball, I know that if he wants to play, he has one.

I just want to chill with him though. 

I was nervous...since yesterday I've been feeling more akward and nervous around him. 

I am embarassed at what I did yesterday, thinking back now it was cringe but whatever.

After some more minutes of silent walking, I reached my best friends door.

His house wasn't big but it wasn't small either, it had a medium size and was actually really pretty.

For Yamaguchi, always being alone, it probably was way too big.

It probably felt even lonlier than if he'd be in a small house.

Why aren't his parents home anyway, why would they get a child, which they are responsible for, and not be there for him.

It's sad, to think of it.

Ah whatever, I am here to...cheer him up.

Yeah enthusiastic Kei! 

No that doesn't sound like me eww.

Come on just fucking knock you dumb idiot, he is waiting.

After scolding myself, screaming at myself, well not really, I let out a deep sigh and knocked.

I heard a quiet voice saying he is coming and a few seconds later the door opened, exposing a pr- eh I mean Yamaguchi.

"Tsukki! You're here! I thought you weren't coming you're late."

Oh damn I took to long scolding myself, I will just try to overplay it.

"I got...distracted."

"Heh okay, you're here now so that's cool!"

"Yeah..."

Yamaguchi walked back to his living room, and now I saw what he was wearing.

YAMAGUCHI SKIRT. Yams and skirt. 

And he also wore a cute oversized shit omg.

What the fuck, how would I get into heaven?

I am an ass?

"Tsukki? Aren't you coming?"

"Ah y-yeah s-sorry."

"Are you okay? You look weird?"

"Wh-what I look weird?"

Eh I knew I shouldn't have gone for that outfit.

"NO NO! That's not what I meant. Your face..."

AH thank good just my...My face.

HE IS TOUCHING IT.

Yamaguchi skirt. Hands touching my face. Heaven.

My conclusion was that I dided and somehow got into heaven, probably insulting satan so bad, he wouldn't let me stay in hell.

Yamaguchi's angel hands were soft.

I love them.

"TSUKKI! YO-YOUR NOSE!WE WE NEED T-TO STOP THE BLEEDING!"

Ah shit, that's what I get for insulting Satan.

"It's just blood Yamsi." 

Now he was as red as a tomato. 

Just because I called him Yamsi. Wow.

Cute.

He calls me Tsukki on a daily basis but blushes when I give him hos nickname.

What a great and overwhelming fucking start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not me actually hearing tina turner on loop while writing this.  
> BUT FR SHE IS A WHOLE ASS QUEEN, SIMPLY THE BEST


	10. sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ye ye they talk and game and so on

After Tsukki's nose bleeded, everything was calm again.

We sat on my couch, watching our comfort show, Steven Universe.

This show was dope.

Now that I think about Tsukki's nose, I hope he isn't sick or something similar.

Omg what if he has a brain tumor or something like that and that's why he behaves so weirdly.

Oh no what if he is dying we need to call an ambulance!

Maybe his pride is too big for him to tell me that he is sick ah no what shall I do?!

"Yams."

"AH! Eh Tsukki yeah? What is it? Are you hungry? Are you not feelin well?"

"Woah calm down. I am fine?"

I looked him serious in the eyes.

"Are you really though?"

"Yeah? Why shouldn't I be?"

"Well I don't know..your face is red more often than usual and your nose bleeded and you are behaving weird."

He didn't answer, avoiding eyecontact.

"OMG DO YOU HAVE A TUMOUR?!"

"What?? NO?? I definetly do not."

"Then why are you so weird?"

"Uh I am not, I am just trying to be...nicer."

I looked at him surprised.

"If that's all, then I am really proud of you for trying Tsukki!"

He smiled. 

He should smile more, he is so cute when he does.

"Ehm Tsukki, what did you actually want?"

"Oh...I was just wondering..."

"About?"

"Ah nevermind."

"NOOO. Tell me or you wonÄt get cake I made you."

"Strawberry shortcake?"

"You bet."

"That's extortion."

I giggled and quickly made pleading puppy eyes.

"Just tell me pleaseeee."

"Ha okay."

He paused ofr a moment only to continue speaking without looking at me.

"I was just wondering since you like wearing skirts."

Oh. my... Oh no. I forgot to change.

They are just so comfortable oh no. 

Now he thinks I am weir-

"Not that I have a problem with it, it's not like it doesn't suit you. You should wear it more often."

Feeling lightweighted, I smiled brightly, blushing like an idiot.

"Thanks tsukki! You know you should smile more often as well!"

"Hm. No."

"Awwww that's meannn, why not?"

"I don't want to look like the king when he is smiling."

"Kageyama's smile is just horrible, don't compare to yours please?"

He chuckled.

I like it when he is happy.

"Wanna play Jump Force?"

"Yeah I will destroy you with my sword skills." 

He chose to be a sword fighter in the game, while I chose to have a ninja fighting style.

"Pfft whatever. Whoever wins gets to tell the other one thing they have to do?"

"Bet. But please don't let me do something majestically related."

"Ah so you've accepted your loss already? How sad, another fallen soldier."

We teased and talked and gamed, after 10 rounds or so I won 6 out of them.

"I am just too good for you, sorry."

"Yeah yeah just tell me what to do."

After thinking for a long time, only wone thing came to mind.

I didn't want to say it, but my mouth was faster than my brain.

"Hug me."  
  



	11. confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> soft angst lol

I looked at Yamaguchi with a questioning and flustered face.

He looked to the ground, his whole face as red as a strawberry. 

Then he started to speak.

"AHH I'm sorry. It just came out of my mouth you know. You don't have to actuall do it if you don't wan to..."

"So you don't want me too?"

"Th-tha-that's not how i m-meant it?"

"So wh-what know?" 

Fuck did I just stutter. 

Embarassing.

"Ju-just forget it pls."

He avoided eye contact, but I did as well so I wasn't one to talk.

I always wanted to hug him. 

And kiss him.

And to be honest other stuff as well.

He stood up, wanting to walk away.

I grabbed his wrist quickly and stopped him.

"Ts-tsukki?"

Wihtout even thinking I pulled him into a hug, while doing so I nearly falled of the sofa.

He fell onto me and I pulled him closer to my chest.

Neither of us said something, until I broke the silence again.

"Yams you don't have to ask something like this when we're alone, you can just do it..."

He didn't say anything, but just snuggled onto me more.

We laid there for some time, until I felt something wetting my shirt.

I looked down only to see my best friend crying.

I quickly sat up a bit.

"Yamaguchi what's wrong?"

He didn't say anything.

"You can talk to me."

"I miss my parents. I don't want to be alone.

He had his head hanging low.

I grabbed his face gently and wiped away his tears.

"Yama I am here. You aren't alone. You have Sugawara-san and the tangerine and the whole volleyball club. We are always here for you."

He still didn't say anythign, only crying silently .

"I will be there for you and I will come over as often as I can. I promise you."

"I am sorry."

He turned his head away.

"For what?"

"For being such a crybaby."

"You aren't. Everyone wants their parents around."

My voice was soft. 

"Can we...cuddle again."

He asked sounding nervous and sad.

I just pulled him back in my arms and held him.

He is fucking so pretty.

I wish he never had to suffer. 

If someone would ever do something horrible to him again, I don't know what I would do.

For at least 2 hours we just laid there.

Me holding him and he crying a bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tsukki is WHIPPED but to be honest who wouldn't be for this pretty and cute strawberry baby.  
> yes i am whipped as well.

**Author's Note:**

> First Chapter is done!!!  
> I am really excited to write this story and I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I do!


End file.
